Extreme Forsaken Wrestling

EFW Presents: Extreme Forsaken Wrestling


    first appearance

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    clarky
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    first appearance

    Post  clarky on Mon Jan 02, 2012 3:34 pm

    *the lights dimmer around the stadium as the crowd go quiet*

    - the camara zooms out to show the titotron-

    *the titotron lights up and big red and blue fireworks as the screen starts to flicker*

    whispering voise: the time is near,

    *soft creapy music starts playing in the backround*

    whispering voise: the time will come,

    *the music starts getting louder while showing a flickering glimmer of somone*

    normal voise: soon you will all know who i am

    *the music starts going loud and the picture starts get clearer*

    loud voise: soon you will all know who to be wary off.

    *the picture shows a guy with a shroud on*

    loud voise: and i am a person to be scared off

    *you see another man behind the shroud playing with a cd player and the music changes to a funky disco tune*

    loud voise: what the??....

    *the shorud runs and quickly stops the song*

    loud voise: i told you to wait till i was down now you have ruined my dramatic indroduction

    *the shroud turns back to the camara*

    loud voise: quick quick turn it off

    *the titotron suddenly goes all black again as the lights come back on*
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    Big Man Ting

    Posts : 13
    Join date : 2011-12-30

    Re: first appearance

    Post  Big Man Ting on Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:19 pm

    very nice rp mate just a little spelling mistakes..

    its 'voice' not 'voise'

    and the 4th to last line, its meant to be 'shroud' not 'shorud' isnt it

    very nice rp.

    clarky

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2012-01-02

    Re: first appearance

    Post  clarky on Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:08 pm

    will fix later on, trying to find somone to start a feud with so might need to change this,

    but for future referance, im dyslexic, writing story's all the time kinda help me get better but as you can see i do make alot of mistakes,

    so keep replying pointing out my mistakes please Razz as they do help me

    stone cold 3:16

    Posts : 22
    Join date : 2012-01-05

    LOL

    Post  stone cold 3:16 on Sun Jan 08, 2012 1:33 pm

    nice RP bro .. LMAO at the end lol!
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    Big Man Ting

    Posts : 13
    Join date : 2011-12-30

    Re: first appearance

    Post  Big Man Ting on Sun Jan 08, 2012 1:56 pm

    bro u really need to fix all the grammar mistakes show is tomorrow..

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